You are a trooper! I am without words of wisdom because this is a journey that is truly your own. You are fighting this thing as best you can and it seems there are still so many unexpected hurdles. If you can stay strong and think positive thoughts you will triumph if only because you never let it get the best of you. When one is in pain it is nearly impossible to do so, but perhaps deep down you can find some strength to endure. I surely hope that by now you have managed to get your hands on some heavier pain meds. Is this a side effect of the last chemo cycle still? In the modern days of medicine there is no excuse for pain so I dearly hope you have been taken to hospital to demand something more.
As for the clinical trial I pray that you get in as it will be another piece of artillery against the cancer. Of course, you being you, are worried about missing my wedding. That shows you have not lost your inner self in all of this! You know the drill-you’ve been down that aisle before so to speak! Your wanting to be there is as good for me as you being there. But there are also the islands that you wanted to get to. They are pinned to the ocean floor so they are not going anywhere! You will come when the time is right. It takes merely a plane ticket, straw hat and bathing suit to make it happen.
YOU are all of our priorities and getting you well is of the highest! I am rooting for you in California. I think of you daily and wish I could be there to hold you and stroke your forehead. Think of all of us surrounding you and caring for you in those painful moments because perhaps that will ease the pain if just a little.
Danda, I love you and am glad to hear that your love for James and clearly is love for you make you smile. You deserve all the smiles he gives you. Hugs to you, Julian and James-I pray I see you all soon to give you a warm embrace.
I recently went to Palm Springs with some girlfriends for the weekend and what a hoot of a place. Stuck in the 50’s! Something about that warm desert air really appealed to me. Ironically I arrived back Monday and immediately caught a cold. Perhaps too much rest? Too much fresh air? Is there such a thing? The funniest part was thinking of Uncle Geoffrey (now nicknamed Rev. G. For Reverend Geoffrey! ) arriving in Palm Springs on motorcycle after his trek cross country and wondering what he must have thought about the desert and it s palms after all his years back east and in the Caribbean? We will have to ask him to tell us about it some time. Or perhaps you already know- you are the historian of the family! Just a funny thing for you to think about!
Much Love,
Alexis
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