Flu Makes me Fumble, but Joy makes me Soar

Dear All,

A short note because, since I last posted, I have been battling the worst flu, with high fever spikes (the nature of which has landed me in hospital 3 times this week... I had to miss the birthday party, as instead I was hooked up to an IV....so disappointing), bad chest cough, and bad cold. And my muscle pain in my back has been horrendous, so I have had to once again take heavy pain meds.... if it's not the chemo, then it's the flu.... I have been huddled in bed for days. I long to be pain free for more than a few days at a time!!!

Anyway, I have been feeling awful, and it has not helped my mood. When you feel terrible and in pain, the mantra "I am better than I was yesterday" is hard to digest. But I have been saying it anyway.... "I am better than I am yesterday, although I may feel worse...!" The usual daily tears, frustrated rants, and deep sighs, and then I just pick myself up and move on. Last night, however, I had my mother rubbing my back, telling me "It's all going to be alright", as I lay there and wept because of the pain, feeling all of 8 year's old. There is something about a mother's cool hand stroking your forehead that ranks number #1 on the "most soothing" list.

I have had to stay at my mother's flat, for fear of giving my flu to James, who only recently won over several weeks of a bad cough and cold. I miss him so! So, I close my eyes, and picture him playing and giggling...his joy is a wonderful sight from me to see and hear. Below are a couple of my favourite videos (with Chiara playing "Cyclops!", and with Julian playing chase) and above, a recent photo of him drawing with my father. Moments of joy.

Hugs to All.