Celebrating Alessandra

Dear all,

I am not sure who, if anyone, is still reading this blog. But, just in case there is at least one person out there who was not able to attend Alessandra´s memorial but would have liked to be there…I write. So, what to say and how to sum it all up? I guess that would be impossible to do, so I´ll simply say that, notwithstanding the deep sadness of the occasion, it was a beautiful ceremony. It was moving, heartfelt and personal with some of her closest loved ones taking turns to share funny and heart-rending memories, tears and humour. In essence, it was a tribute to all that Danda was and has left behind…so, so, sooooooo much!!! Vicki and Chiara were particularly courageous fighting back their tears and trembling voices, and honouring Danda through their touching words. Aunt Lisa and Uncle Geoffrey made us laugh with their funny anecdotes, and made us feel even more admiration for a person already so admired. Another Lisa, a very dear friend of Danda´s who came all the way from California, also shared a heart-warming account of how she met Alex 18 years ago and of all that she had meant to her. More friends and family spoke, and the underlying message was always the same…Danda´s capacity to give, to make things matter, to make people feel special were unique traits that have accompanied her since she was a child.

I remember that when I heard the news of Danda´s passing away, amidst the heartbreaking sadness, I felt anger, an obstinate resistance to this new reality, a rejection towards what, unfortunately, there is no turning back from. I could not understand how a life so beautiful and promising, both personally and professionally, how a person so exceptional and with so much to give could have her future stolen. Danda´s memorial gently transformed this view showing me the other side of the coin, the full part of the glass instead of the empty one, the silver lining of this incomprehensible loss…The memorial was a touching, emotion-filled celebration of Alessandra and all that she had managed to give, share and inspire in her short life. There are so many people who live twice her age and whose lives are not even half as rich, generous or meaningful as hers! As I listened to one homage after another, amidst tears, smiles and laughter (for those who loved her were faithful to her love of humour!), I suddenly realized the magnitude of Danda´s impact on people. I know she had always impacted me, I had always been in admiration of her since we were at school...and I know of countless other people at Runnymede College who felt the same. But at her memorial, I realized that her impact was just as powerful on those who had the luck to know her well as on those who met her for just a few moments. With everyone, she left more than a beautiful memory. She touched people, reached their hearts delicately and unobtrusively, uplifted their souls, and lit their days with her smile and kindness. Her presence was as gentle as it was powerful, her smile as graceful as it was generous, her mind as open as it was sharp, her heart as noble as it was strong.

Some say “è scritto nelle stelle” (it´s written in the stars), others say life (and death) is a lottery, others find spiritual or religious meanings. Whatever it may be, I think we´ll never really know the answer whilst we´re on this earth. Maybe the hardest (and most important) lesson in life is Acceptance, for it is only through acceptance that we relieve burdens we feel we cannot bear. I guess the best we can do is pay tribute every day of our lives to beautiful Alessandra, striving to make our lives MATTER as much as hers did and to give even an ounce of what she gave. Her Uncle Geoffrey summarized Danda perfectly: “she was always ready to GIVE more than she would take.” May her loved ones find the strength and courage to “overcome” this loss and may we all keep honouring Danda´s memory and soul by smiling with our expressions and our hearts every time we come across one of Life´s wonderful miracles, however small and insignificant they may seem…

With much love to all those who have shared this voyage, Sally