I am heart broken. Part of me wishes I could rewind the clock five hours, to before I read of Alex' death, and live for a little while longer wondering how she is doing, wondering when I would see her, wondering when I would hear her voice. I am flooded with memories of times with her, and I wish for more. In fact, I'm flooded with images of the times I want to have with her, still. My love and sorrow pour out to you, Vicki, Chiara, James, Julian, Alexis, and everyone who loved Alex so. I feel like I need a pep talk from Alex to find my way through the pain. What would she say? What did she teach me? I think I will be digesting that question for a long time, but I'll take a first crack at it right now to cope with this night. She taught me...True grace and courage means feeling this pain fully, and communicating it honestly and vulnerably, without letting it drowned out the beauty, the wonder, the humor, the hope, the vitality, the simplicity, and the love around me. She taught me about true mindful living, and I will try to live that in her death. I know how lucky I am to have had her in my life. And I know she is still present. Alex had the gift of being able to sense spiritual dimensions of existence, and she had experiences that prove to me that our spirits live on and are present for our loved ones. I hope you all can feel her. I know she is there. With love - Lindsay