Hi Panda,
I am so sorry to read about your intruding thoughts and the psychological torture you are subjected to, in addition to the physical torture, by this disease. I usually prefer to focus on the positive aspects of your posts, but these days in which mourning a beloved uncle adds so much pain to your already difficult situation, I just want to send you the biggest of hugs.
Having said that, I'm done with the negative. I'll revert to my strategy of sharing with you some of the positive small things that make me happy throughout my day, hoping that some of that happiness reaches you somehow and contributes to your strength for the fight ahead. OK?
On Saturday, Oori and I went on a long bike ride ("Of course! What else can she be taking about!" ;) ). We visited a castle on the side of the mountain that I see each time we take the freeway in the valley. The photo above shows the view from the castle. I took that photo with the specific purpose of showing it to you--so, you see, you're in my thoughts pretty often.
On the way back, along the bike path, I saw lots of yellow flowers and very small--but so many!--purple flowers in the shade of big trees, that I couldn't believe this is the beginning of October (sorry I didn't have the chance to take a photo of this). They were not there in the summer. These are wild flowers that bloom in October, period. Note that no grapes are left in the vineyards, only few apples are still on the trees in the orchards and the mountains have begun to brown. So, although fall is coming, along the bike path it felt like a second spring has come! A clear sign that renovation and new life can spring in any season.
A big hug.
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