A quick note, as I am about to head into a meeting. But I wanted to comment on a few things and provide an update.
I had chemo on Monday, and true to form, my hands and feet reacted with intensity to yet another round of medication. I have now learned that there are truly many shades of pink in this skin palette of mine, and that "pain" is a concept whose hues and subtleties abound. It really has become as much of a mental battle as a physical one, in trying to direct my focus away from what hurts and towards what feels "well". Thankfully, I felt much better this morning, and I had no need for pain killers. While I still tread lightly and touch gently, the intensity of the pain has subsided somewhat, and I can sense wonderful things (e.g., the cool floor, James' soft hair) beyond fire.
Dr. Plowman has scheduled a new set of scans to be taken two weeks from today. I shall have a CT scan on Wednesday November 4th, and meet with him Friday November 6th. We aim to see if more has shifted, and to obtain a new "baseline" as I end this particular treatment chapter and begin a new one. Basically, I will continue on three-week treatment cycles, taking the oral chemo and having the IV anti-angiogenic drug, but will be given a break from the IV chemo, so that my bone marrow can have a breather and regain its strength from the battering it has received to date. I shall be scanned regularly to see how I do with one out of three meds removed... The plan is to do this new regimen for the next three months at least, with the possibility of re-introducing a third drug contingent on my progress. On the one hand I am very nervous at "losing" the one medication, while on the other hand I see this as giving my body an even better chance to do some of its own fighting, with an immune system that is allowed to have more of a starring role. I believe that it is in my control to end this marathon victorious. One foot in front of the other. Believe, believe. And breathe.
I also wanted to take a moment to thank you for the continuous contributions to my Whole Foods account. I don't know who you all are, and I wish I did, so that I could thank you more personally. I am so overwhelmed by how generous you have been, and by the conviction that you share with me that my diet is such a key player in all of this. I never expected such ongoing support, and am at a loss for words to convey the gratitude I feel for the huge gestures that have been made in this regard. Julian and I often talk about wanting to do the same for others in my predicament when I complete this marathon of mine. Somehow, we will find a way to give back and provide people with the opportunity to nurture their bodies with goodness. I know that it has made an indescribable difference for me. It is one of my many plans of involvement as I think of the future and of how I can pass on some of the many amazing blessings that have been given to me.
I also want to apologise to many of you who have left me countless messages over the past couple of weeks and are waiting to hear back. Mary, Jane, Eve, Lisa Hilley, Lisa Vasallo, Jessica, Lindsay, Kamila, Karen ... the list is wonderfully long and I love you all tons. I only received some of your messages last night, as my cell phone has finally responded to some desperate tech CPR and is semi functional again following its submersion in pond water.... I will reconnect, I promise!
And talking about pond water, voila a photo of where I submerged last weekend. You see the crowd of people by the swans...? Well, just imagine the exact same scene, with James and I as part of the group of happy weekend strollers... oh, those flashbacks are quite priceless! I am pleased to report that James and I have sinced remained dry, and have developed a particular interest in dogs and squirrels, who prefer terra firma...!Much love to everyone, and hugs to all, as always.
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