2010, here I come, full of hope.

Dear All,

A short note, as I am feeling the full effects of chemo, having only been discharged from the hospital a few hours ago. But I just wanted to wish you all the Happiest of New Years, on this eve of saying goodbye to 2009 and welcoming in 2010.

Growing up, I was always told, "Don't get your hopes up", as I would characteristically always think of the good or expect good of others, strive for the best or expect that effort would be reciprocated, and would often get disappointed. I would find that I had asked for too much, or had set my expectations too high.

I am all grown up now, and still haven't changed. On the eve of 2010, true to form, I continue to keep my hopes way up. In my opinion, there is no such thing as hoping too hard. I continue to set my expectations high, for I still believe that anything and everything is possible. My emotions are raw right now and I remain frequently overwhelmed by the strength and resilience that this marathon asks of me. But I see 2010 as the year where that finish line awaits, and where I will breathe that sigh of relief to have crossed it, at last, to the sound of your cheers. Yes, my hopes are up, and I am keeping them there.

I have attached a picture of James taken this Christmas. He is my biggest hope. And as I continue to seek silver linings, hidden as they may be in the darkest of times, seeing him grow up and thrive and be the happiest of little boys, has been the biggest gift that 2009 has given me.

Happy New Year, my wonderful troops. Hugs, huge huge hugs, to all.