Wishing, willing, and appreciating good news.

Dear All,

The past few days for me have been all about wishing, willing and appreciating good news, in its many forms....

My dear Uncle Peter is still in hospital with heart problems and he has had his ups and downs. I think about him all the time, and only wish that I were there so that we could hold hands and talk and "be". Here we are, the two docs on the American side of the family, and both sick - what is wrong with that picture?!? He doesn't deserve to be in hospital, but I know that he is in the best of hands, and with family around him to cheer him through this. I thank you all for the good thoughts you have sent his way. I await the daily updates on how he is doing and I wish, with all my heart, to hear good news that he is comfortable and doing well. I spoke to him on Skype yesterday, and the man is one wonderful tough cookie.

On my front, I had my scans today, and no matter what spin I try to put on things, it was admittedly as emotional as always. I cried quietly through my CT scan, not in resignation but quite the contrary: I cried because I am tired of fear, because I am angry at the unfairness of all of this, because while I feel that my fighting spirit is as strong as ever, this marathon seems endless to me. I visualised Lance saying "Priorelli, you are doing this!!! Come on, don't you let up!!! Go, go, go!!!" as I pounded the pavement in strong, running strides, my eye on the finish line, convinced that I will come out of this a winner. I visualised my liver as sparkly clean, my lymph node withering, and my body a healthy pink glow. I again grew tearful during my bone scan but managed to hold it together a little better. I tried to relax but heck, I am human, and there is NOTHING relaxing about being scanned. I simply shut my eyes and went through my visualisations, mentally hugged my little James as close as I could, and thought of family and friends and the future... And it was over. Julian and I left the hospital, hand in hand, took deep breaths, and continued believing that we are one step closer to my healing. We await the results Friday afternoon at 5pm, and I am willing and ready to hear good news, with open arms. Because we deserve it, and I own this battle. And no matter what this week brings, the fact is that this f*!ker of a cancer does not have a hope in hell against me. Ten months into this fight, and I am still standing tall.

On a different note, I appreciated good news at its fullest over the weekend: Julian's older brother Charles proposed to his long time girlfriend Maria Rosaria (FINALLY!!!!) and they are officially engaged. I could not be more excited and thrilled. They are a wonderful couple, and I am so, so happy to have her as a future sister-in-law. She is one of the most thoughtful, sensitive and kind people I have ever met, so the idea of having her in my life for always simply makes me smile from ear to ear. Between her and I, it looks like the Italians are taking over the Murdoch family....!

As for James, he is always a ray of good news and sunshine in my life. I have attached a couple of photos of him that I took when we were at the park, and a video of him "dancing" to music in our living room just before bedtime, taken a couple of days ago. He just LOVES music, and is either busy conducting an orchestra, doing the twist, bopping to the beat, or swaying to the notes. It has to be said, the kid has rhythm and he certainly didn't get that from me... he is all his father in that regard! He proves the following point to me time and time again: how bad can things really be, as long as you can dance?

Here's to wishing for and getting good news. Hugs to all.