Balance and Fight

Alex -
There are pieces of your latest post that are music to my ears. I don't really believe fully in the idea that everything happens for a reason, but I guess I do believe in some sort of universal, natural energy that brings us the experiences we need to create balance (earth energies are all about balance, after all...), even when we don't know we need them. Or at the very least, that we learn what we need to learn from all of life's experiences, good and bad. For example, I have come to learn that my back goes out every year or so, and it isn't random. It happens when I am pushing too hard, giving too much without replenishing myself, valuing everything and everyone on my list above myself. So the universe wipes me out and says: "You will lie on the floor now and be totally dependent on others to help you, and that is what has to happen to create a balance of the energy you are putting out. There must be balance. You have created one side of the scale...guess what?! This is what the other side looks like." Finally I have thought, "Oooohhhh...perhaps there is a less painful, less irritating, and less volatile form of balance to be struck here with the universe..." You wrote: "I have to say, that my perspective on life and what is important to worry about or not, continues to shape itself into an increasingly simple stance. It centers more and more on the importance of health and love and family and friends, on actively prioritising what really matters, on allowing oneself to put "me" first and feel okay about it, on appreciating that most things have a solution, and on recognising that living life feeling that one is battling stress and pressure is not a virtue but a fault. " I read that and felt like I was going to burst into happy tears. If there is a reason why the universe gave you this challenge, it is so you could feel this. And even though there may not really be a reason for this suffering (a la shit happens), this is certainly the very best lesson and gift you could take away from this experience. I read your words and the unsolicited thought that sprang to mind was, "Yay! Now this cancer can go away...mission accomplished! She's done what she needed to do!" You rock.

All that said...nobody, especially you, deserves the heartache of not being able to romp with your babe, glory in the arms of your lover, or indulge laughter and beauty. So we balance all that calm balance with the fight. Keep fighting the fucker. I love you - Lindsay