Happy Feet

Dear Panda,

You posted three times since I last wrote. This means that I have been slow, but also that you are more active--and this is something that makes me very happy. Lots of things you've been posting lately contributed to this happiness. For example, I really liked reading that when your uncle and aunt came to visit you all had a great time together, especially around the dinner table. These things cheer one up wonderfully and leave you with memories you want to go back to over and over for a long time. I also liked the photo of you and your uncle Geoffrey. Again I thought you look gorgeous with that haircut, more aggressive than with your usual hair pulled in a pony tail, but then again this is in perfect line with the events and with the spirit with which you are facing them. Again, I am impressed by your strength in this war.

I was so happy also to see the photo ad the video of your Mom at the race. Did I understand correctly from my Mom that she arrived second in her category? That is a great accomplishment (though I suspect she's starting to get used to the success, she's always so good when she runs a race! ;) ). Congratulate her for me. Now that I started biking with some regularity I understand how difficult it is to build the stamina to "get to the end" of a race, let alone winning!

I also loved to hear that you are signed up for meditation and relaxation workshops with your Mom and Chiara. Team work! I'm sure it's going to do you all a lot of good. Like the three musketeers you will be invincible (and James is the fourth...). I was less happy to read that the anxiety medications are not being as effective as you hoped, but I suspect that it's only a matter of time--these things take weeks to stabilize the system and become effective with little or no side effect. I'm sure you'll get there soon.

If I had not read all the things I've just listed, three things would have definitely changed my mood immediately. First, the news that the lymph node is shrinking. I completely agree we should not obsess too much on this, but I also agree that it is a huge deal, and I can't but think very optimistic thoughts after this "shift"--that's how you call it. I want to call it IMPROVEMENT! Yes, your body is doing this, and not only because of all the medications, but also because of how you are fighting. Again, you are impressive.

The second mood booster was hearing that you did an intake. Two hours of work may not seem a lot to you, used as you were to work happily very long days. But two hours certainly ARE a big accomplishment after your 7 rounds with Mike Tyson and the one new type of round you're fighting now. I'm hopeful that you will gradually be able to put in more and more hours. I believe that working will be the best healer for your battled mind.

The third mood booster is the video of James the Drummer. He is so cute! I loved how he dances with his feet to the sound of his own drum. As soon as I saw the video, I was immediately reminded of one my favorite songs, Happy Feet by Paolo Conte, which never fails to put me in a great mood whenever I listen to it (it has nothing to do with the penguin movie--it is much older). Here it is: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WaOQp9zxA3w

Finally, inspired by Joe's posts, yours, and those of many others who sent you words of wisdom by great authors, I also browsed the internet in search of quotations about courage and perseverance. I'm pasting below the one that keeps coming back to my mind, although I have to admit it has a completely different tone than those posted so far...

"If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you." (Anonymous)

A big hug.