To all the "she's" who surround you!

Well, here I am Monday morning attempting "feel good" email #2.What I was saying before the internet took my blog post “somewhere over the rainbow” was that I am so glad to hear from you Danda. The few words you typed made me feel as if I was right there with you for those few moments you had enough strength to sit up and speak your mind. I am sure you feel God awful right now--probably hating life. Ironic isn’t it?! But you will life again soon when you visit Dr. Plowman and he tells you that you are making headway, you are defying the odds, and are getting a little better everyday. But it seems like forever that you have been making this headway.

I digress for a moment from my original email for a little story on the subject of making progress little by little. When I left for my bike ride yesterday I felt empowered, fueled up and ready to push through the blustering winds outside. I got out on the road and the winds were one thing, but the gusts were another. Each strong puff blew me sideways and I fought back leaning into the wind to try and stay on course. Then to add insult to injury the hill came! My legs were tired from pounding on the pedals. I began to climb; the good news was at least I was in the lee of a mountain so the wind was no longer a factor.

I got on the hill and didn’t shift down to my lowest gear, "the infamous grandma gear" as they call it. Seriously, I was always told use what you are given and let me tell you grandma is the only reason I sometimes get up a hill! Up, up, up. I arrive at the top. The elation!! I did it. I must be getting stronger I thought to myself. But where did this strength come from and when did it happen? Danda, you too have the strength and have come a LONG way, but over so many days things might feel only subtly different, your strength ebbing, but no, you are stronger, grandma be damned! Well, maybe not our grandma because our Gran was wonderful and saw us up many a hill! Keep trucking up that hill-take the weight off your mind and envision lightness and calm as you

Ok, so back to where I was on Sunday when I was originally writing this post. I was wishing you a Happy Mother’s Day. You are a wonderful mother, I can tell from the way you look at James and marvel at how you were blessed with such an angel! Then I went on to wish all the women on this blog a Happy Mother’s Day even though only some of you are mothers I think we are all mothers at heart. Nurturers to the nth degree! I know the men are out there thinking of Danda and wishing her well with their random acts of kindness, but have you noticed it is the women standing in solidarity on this blog. Sally, do you think there is a reason that boats are called "she!" I look forward to meeting you some day; you seem like my kind of woman! Danda, I am continuing to be intrigued by your family and friends on the other side of the pond-where have you been hiding them? I missed the wedding, my fault! But maybe that is why you need to renew your vows!

I hope you have gotten that ipod up and running. If not, maybe I can help, let me know. Lindsay, wanted to see where the "get psyched and beat cancer" music mix is. If you have not already burned a disc and sent it off I have a great idea for getting the music to her. In something that sounds like what an AA meeting participant would I confess, "My name is Alexis. I am 32 years old and I just bought an i-pod and logged into itunes for the first time." MUSIC, SO MUCH MUSIC! Danda, I feel like itunes will get you through these hellish days as well as enrich the ones in between. Music can change a mood in a minute. I mean, here I am listening to my music on the bus and writing this email and thinking going to work isn’t so bad. THAT’S POWERFUL STUFF!

And welcome to our newest member of the clan, Chrissy. So glad you’ve joined this amazing community of people, all ready I can see you will fit right in!

Danda, I love you immensely. With a kiss on the forehead and a big hug I wish you a peaceful evening.

Lex